Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Starting Now, Starting Now...

I would like to start off by saying Happy New Years...I hope your Christmas & New Years was a wonderful and blessed as mine...And yes, we celebrate Christmas, not "Holiday Season" at TME...What you gonna do about it? *bring it back down*...But yes! New Years! A new chance to start fresh, another opportunity to make to New Year's resolutions, and, sadly, another year of likely failed New Year's resolutions...Well that's what the research states;
Recent research shows that while 52% of participants in a resolution study were confident of success with their goals, only 12% actually achieved their goals.
I really never been the NYE resolution type of person...I felt like if there is something worth changing, why start on Jan 1st, if its Dec 28th...Let's start on Dec 28th...And on Dec 28th I decided to do something that will change my communication experience FOREVER...Think before I speak. Yes, when John Mayer penned the lyrics to "My Stupid Mouth", I think he had a window into my life.

I can be a complete "social casualty"...My loved ones understand and they accept me (most of the times)...But that still doesn't make it right. I have been known to make people (loved ones, friends, co-workers, randoms, etc.) feel awkward, angry, uncomfortable, and drained...Well that's what I've been told. And its not like I try...I'm a naturally passionate individual with the flaw of having a poor filter...And my little filter at times have issues with keeping up with all my thoughts.

I think my "gift" started at an early age...You see, in the Harris household, you had to be quick on your feet. Having the last words in a sibling battle was serious. We did it all in fun...But it could get heated.

Well for a very long time, I was always taking the "L"...Between my parents producing some highly educated/quick tongued offspring and the reality that I had an extremely bad speech impediment (borderline Ellis Lanksder), I just bottled up my thoughts. Had things to say, but were scared to say them. All I can say is that little kids can be soooooooo mean...I can sit and laugh about it now, but as a youngster it shut me DOWN.

Around the 5th grade, things really started to shape up...After 3 years of speech therapy, all those things that were bottled up...smh...And I've been over-talking every since.

And grad school ruined me...lol...All I did was research and argue my side of the case/theory for 2 years.

But that still not an excuse...

My mouth is my gift and my curse...I'm really focused on taking away the latter.

*shrug shoulders*

Don't give up on me...He's still working on me...

...I'll keep you posted


ARH said...

I love that song, especially the surprise ending ;)

I'm the oldest of the last 3 kids and the youngest 2 still get the last words in. I have to rehearse my "checking" It's sad.

Always enjoying reading you...Good luck on your resolutions


Stephanie said...

*thumbs up* We are all a work in progress.