Tuesday, June 01, 2010

I'm Due...

Perfect Is Overrated...I promise.

But before I get into all of that…Let me first say sorry for the layoff…I’ve been under the gun at the “M-U-tation”…AND had some life changing events.

No I didn’t get engaged…

Nobody is pregnant…

And no I was not called to preach.

What?!? Now you know those are the 3 that “we” usually ask when folks talk about “life changing”. Am I lying? LOL

But back to the news…God decided for me to escape…And head South. I know, that sounds backwards, but it makes so much sense. I resigned from Marquette University and accepted a position at Texas A&M University (whoop!). I believe know that this is a great opportunity for development and advancement in the field of higher education administration.

But you guys didn’t come to hear about me moving to College Station, TX (WoW…I’m moving to Texas)…You guys came here to hear me talk that ish…

Okay…Where was I? Oh, Perfection!

Men don't need a woman to be flawless to be attracted to her. I really don’t understand why some of you all don’t understand that?

Well I took lunch in today, down at the MKE Public Market (shout out to the Green Kitchen)…Well I am a professional people watcher…And if you sit too close to me, I will listen to your conversation. But I had the opportunity to listen to this very interesting conversation about two women discussing what men want. Two women…Discussing what men want. Almost better, than standup.

And it dawned on me that many women seem to think that men expect nothing less than perfection while choosing a mate. But I can also understand that train of thought. Thanks to websites like Maximum…And heck, I will even throw AskMen under the bus too…You would certainly get the idea that unless a woman is both highly attractive and incredibly accommodating, that men have no interest.

This is not really accurate…

At least not in the way you might think…

I often illustrate this to women by asking this question:

“If you had a choice between two men and everything about them was exactly the same, with the exception of one being worth millions and one being poor, who would you prefer? Would you select the wealthy one, or the one who was poor?”

Answer: If they were equal in all other aspects, most women state that they would choose the wealthy gentleman. I mean, why not if everything else is equal? Let’s be real about this.

Now when men hear this some (not all or even a majority) are likely to say, “That’s right, all a woman cares about is a guy who makes a lot of money.” In fact, that conclusion would be incorrect. A man would be wrong to assume that just because a woman likes the characteristic of a man with extreme financial stability that she cannot love a man unless he is wealthy. In fact, most women I speak with tell me this, “It isn’t that he has to make a certain amount, but I would like to know that he has the potential to make enough for me to feel comfortable.” Ding, ding, ding! In fact guys, most women are willing and/or expect to help out financially…Which is another post, another day. 

Now, this same standard applies to men. If given the choice between a woman whom they believe is very attractive, or one who appears to take no interest in her appearance, they will choose the attractive one. This doesn’t mean that they will only consider a woman who is striking. Take a look at most married men and you will see that plenty of women who would not be considered “perfect” have husbands who choose to marry them. That wanted to marry them.

NOW before you start hitting me with rotten tomatoes and claim that I dogging out women physical attributes, let me finish…LOL

Now why would this be? The answer is that the quality of being authentic is actually more potent in the arena of love than perfection. Being authentic causes a woman to act in such a manner that is enchanting…It’s the “it”. Its what makes them Perfect Imperfection.

This woman is well aware that she has issues (don’t we all) and yet, she understands the balance between improving herself and being comfortable with where she is currently in her life. She doesn’t work hard at convincing others (men or other women) that she is perfect. Rather she is very attune to the needs of her heart, and takes full responsibility for meeting those needs. Men find these type of women “wifey” material.

Here’s an exercise that will illustrate my point. The next time you are in a crowded area take a moment and casually look around at the men. Take at least 5 minutes and you will find that the men are all looking at the women. ALL OF THE WOMEN!
 And all men...The ones that don't play on your team are breaking down your outfit...And the ones that are all about "you" are looking at ALL OF THE WOMEN. They will be looking at the tall ones, short ones, skinny ones, curvy ones and on and on and on….Don’t take my word for it. Try it and see for yourself.

For one thing we are visual creatures. And another thing we are out looking for the making/potential of the "it". And it has no shapes, sizes, colors, or list. You will discover that as a woman, you have exactly what men are looking for. All we are waiting on is for you to figure out that you have it…

God created you with it...You just have to read the manual.

…I’ll keep you posted


Tee Nesbitt said...

What chu say!!! You better blog brotheren!!

Anonymous said...

Authenticity is, indeed, a key attribute in a mate. Good or bad, be honest with who you are. Take it from someone who's been married almost ten years, and known her mate for fifteen. There are hills and valleys. Looks will become altered. Money will be both sparse and adequate in a relationship. You make due. You commit, You know your lines, also, the ones you will cross, the one's you'll blur, and the ones that are not drawn in the sand. And you love with all that you have and can offer, and then more. The more is what makes it.

sunshine said...

Very interesting post with some very valuable points.
You are very right about the "it", although some men are not very selective and tent the overlook that "it" and play around until the one shows up, in the case of women, we are most of the time more selective.
While some of you are all looking at all the women, that is not necessary good for the girl next to you, cause we might just see it as you don't have "enough" with us and that could make us very self confident about our looks.
Congrats on the new job and the new life in Texas!

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