And You Thought That Last Picture Was A Mess

If you ever, ever, evvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvver let your child go to the prom looking like this Imma come whoop yo ass...Okay I want everybody to give me one sentence to desribe this pic....




Like I told you earlier Kiesha...It's a God given talent...I'll keep you posted

Yo Mama Soooooooooooo...............

This morning I heard some kids ripping each other up on the bus stop...They were cracking jokes on each other mamas...It was getting so good I turned down my music just to listen (I was thinking about breaking it up but hey what da hell)...I just started to remanence on how my generation (I'm talking about 80's babies) made cracking on each other mothers into an art form...I don't know about you, but I was the bomb...Let me give you just a taste of my skills...And I'm spitting this right of the dome...Check this out...


Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

Yo mama so ugly, she's not bald, it's just her hair runnin' away from her face.

Yo mama is so fat, she's the reason they declared world hunger.

Yo mama so ugly, she makes onions cry.

Yo mama is like a hockey player she doesn't change her pad for three periods.

Yo mama is like a Big Mac, full of fat and only worth a buck.

Yo mama is so nasty, Red Lobster kicked her out for bringing her own crabs.

Yo mama so dumb, she tried putting M&Ms in alphabetical order.

Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo mama so bald, her cornrolls look like stitches.

Yo mama so dumb she climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

Yo mama's like a shotgun, 2 cocks and she's ready to blow.

Yo mama so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.

Yo mama is such a freak, she strips at Chuckie Cheese for tokens.

Yo mama so fat, she woked up in sections.

Yo mama so nasty, I came over and asked what''s for dinner and she opened her legs and said "TUNA SUPRISE!"

Yo mama's hair so short she rolls it with rice.

Yo mama's so hairy, when you were born, you almost died of rug burn.

Yo mama's breath stink so bad when she burps, her teeth duck.

Yo mama is like a brick, flat on both sides and laid by Mexicans.

Yo mama is so nasty I called her on the phone and she gave me an ear infection.

Yo mama so old, she has dreams in black and white. (they us to say this about my mama all the time...)

Yo mama is so ugly, you're father brings her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

Damn I can do this all day...This goes to show you how harsh kids can be...And do you remember that one dude that would start a good "yo mama" battle then he would get mad cause you had everybody laughing at his momma (old sensitive ass)...Those were the days...I'll keep you posted

And while we are on the subjects mama...If I ever see or hear of any of you all posting pictures of you and your child looking like this...Imma...


I'm sorry if this is one of your friends or relatives...But she know better...

I Wish...I Wish...I Wish...

Wish List Alert!!!!

I have found the car that I want for my graduation gift to myself...1967 GT 500 Shelby Mustang...It has taken me a year and a half to find it...So what do you think of it? I have to figure out a name for it...Can you think of any?


I'll keep you posted

I Have Pictures...Of My Fast Ass Niece and My Bad Ass Nephew

Just look at them...SOOOOOOOOOO Cute
 


Here they are with my twin brother (which I look nothing alike)
 


And when nobody is looking...Don't they just look like they can get into some sh!t...
 


Reckless...
 


And CRUNK!
 


But this one is my favorite picture out of the entire bunch my sister sent me...
 


lil SIGMA...Somebody get some tissue...I feel a few tears coming along...I got to get out of here before I start singing the frat hymn...I'll keep you posted

Ain't No Bizzzness Like Show Bizzzness

Whitney Houston proved she's back on top of her game when she performed at the World Music Awards. Curvy and flushed with colour, Whitney belted out her hits to an appreciative crowd. The girl gained some weight...She gained some weight! I she back? You know how the grip is a hard monkey to get off your back...Just ask Mary (Kate or Blige)...We will find out.


And othah show bizzzness news...Thanks Remmie Fresh



Kanye West’s The College Dropout was nominated for a Stellar Gospel Music Award on the strength of his hit single, “Jesus Walks.”

The Lord giveth, but the Stellar Gospel Awards taketh away.

West’s album was up for Best Gospel Rap Album. The nomination was drawing criticism from other gospel groups (haters), who claim that the lyrics on the rest of the album could offend listeners.

The committee for the Stellar Awards decided to rescind their nomination for The Dropout, which was given a nod for Rap/Hip-Hop CD of the Year category.

In a statement, officials explained the basis for the removal.

“The reason for removing the CD from the ballot is that some of the songs on the CD contain explicit lyrics and the CD carries an explicit language warning symbol on its cover, therefore it did not meet the Stellar Awards criteria,” the statement read.

Apparently, the committee misunderstood the totality of West’s work due to the hit song “Jesus Walks,” but were educated that some of the album contains explicit content of a worldly nature.

“After being made aware of the explicit lyrics in the other songs from the CD, the Stellar Awards nominating committee felt the CD lyrical selections were not in the best interest and spirit of gospel music,” the statement continued. “Therefore, the Kanye West CD was immediately removed from the Hip Hop CD of the Year category and the entire ballot.”

The Nominating Committee even apologized to their base for the inclusion of West on the ballot in the first place.

“The Stellar Awards’ Senior Management and the Nominating Committee certainly did not intend to offend the Gospel Music Community with this glaring oversight. We have implemented corrective actions to make sure that such an error never happens in the future”

Other Christian groups nominated include Tonex, Ziklag and God’s Little Soliders.


I'll keep you posted

A Damn Shame...

Need to get your ass kicked

Okay I know everybody except Jamille (with his young ass) remembers Tracey Gold, who starred on the tv show, "Growing Pains"...Right? Well check this out...She was arrested for drunk driving after rolling her SUV--carrying her husband and three young boys--down a California freeway embankment. The 35-year-old Gold was busted by California Highway Patrol officers and charged with a felony count of driving under the influence causing injury. According to a CHP spokesman, Gold was driving a 2001 GMC Yukon on Route 118 at about 11:51 PM on September 3 when she lost control of the vehicle. While Gold's husband and two of hers sons (ages five and four months) were not seriously injured, the actress's oldest child, 7-year-old Sage, suffered a broken clavicle and a head laceration. After CHP officers administered sobriety tests, Gold was arrested on the DUI charge.


A course I had to give you the mug shot...Thanks to The Smoking Gun...

Now that trick was drunk! Look at them glassy ass eyes...Now that's a damn shame...

I'll keep you posted

I'm Back...I'm Back...Let Me Hear You SAY YEEEAAAAAH!

Yes...Yes...Yes...It's been along time since I have been in the house (1 month and 20 days to be exact)...But I'm back! Yes this is your favorite blog spiritual advisor...Rev. Park My Cadillac...I had to take a little vacation...I had to rest cause we all need our rest...So I went to St. Lucia to get back at one with my mission...And that is to deliver the "word"...Amennnn, Amennnn...It feels really, really good to be back in the House of Blog...Last time I left you with a little word on finances...Well today Imma give you with a little more...Imma do like Missy...Immma...Imma...I...I...Imma "Hit 'Ya Wit Da Hee...I stop 'em with the haaa (I stop 'em with the haaa)"...Is that how yall young folks say it...But anyway...I would like you all to turn to the book of Checks...The 21st chapter...And their it reads...

21st Century Act, "Check 21"

New Check Law

Starting in late October (October 28, 2004 to exact), a new check law will allow checks to clear in hours instead of days.

Under the Check 21 law, consumers will enjoy less float, meaning that checks they write to others will clear faster.

But banks won't be under any obligation to speed up the process for consumers depositing checks because the new law does not shorten check hold times.

Industry sources say, under the new law, 7 million more checks will bounce each year, costing millions more in fees each month.

The aim of the new law is to cut the $2 billion cost of processing paper checks.

Now the Feds done put a crook in the game...We live by the floating check...For all of you all that never been through the floating check cause you got it like that...Let me break it down...Say its Thursday...You have no money in your account...Your bill is due that Thursday...You get paid on Friday (the organ playing)...You got that direct deposit...Now you go ahead and right that check on Thursday...Cause you know that your checkaaaaah isn't going to go through untl Early...I said early...I SAID EARLY(high pitched voice)!!! That Monday Morning...Because usually it gets stuck from processing cause Saturday & Sunday aren't business days...And everything is alllllllllright...But on October 28, 2004...All that stops...You can't write that check and beat it to the bank that next morning...The governement are some truuuuuuuue...I said some truuuuuuuuuue...Haters...So for now until October 28...Get ya "Float On"...But after that it must stop...The doors of the church are open...Don't forget your love offerings....There will be an usher to take all collections in the comments box....All yeah we will not be taking anymore checks after October 28...But we still take Cash, Credit Cards, Money Orders, and even EBT...And also remember that tomorrow...Everybody say tomorrow (congregation repeats)...We will be having a fish fry to collect money for the "building fund"...Now turn to your neighbor and tell them, "Are gonna be there, cause I'm going to be there and I hope to see you there" (chuckle, chuckle, chuckle)...Amennnn, Amennnn...You can get your tickets from sister Stephanie and sister Misty out in the lobby...So to all the congregation...Keep On Keeping On...I'll keep you posted

Ain't Dis Bout A.....

Main Entry: ne·glect
Pronunciation: ni-'glekt
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: Latin neglectus, past participle of neglegere, neclegere, from nec- not (akin to ne- not) + legere to gather -- more at NO, LEGEND
1 : to give little attention or respect to : DISREGARD
2 : to leave undone or unattended to especially through carelessness
- ne·glect·er noun
synonyms NEGLECT, DISREGARD, IGNORE, OVERLOOK, SLIGHT, FORGET mean to pass over without giving due attention. NEGLECT implies giving insufficient attention to something that has a claim to one's attention . DISREGARD suggests voluntary inattention . IGNORE implies a failure to regard something obvious . OVERLOOK suggests disregarding or ignoring through haste or lack of care . SLIGHT implies contemptuous or disdainful disregarding or omitting . FORGET may suggest either a willful ignoring or a failure to impress something on one's mind .

I have really been neglecting my blog a lot these past couple of weeks...I just want to tell him (because its a he) that I'm sorry...But I have good reason...This

I have turned in a total of 4 papers...And it's only the 2nd week of school...Tonite I'm working on a masterpiece for my Africa & African American Women History course..."Asante Queen Mothers in Government and Politics in the Nineteenth Century" (sounds good doesn't it)....Well let me get back to work...I'll keep you posted

Great Great Great Great Great Great!

"Going on a date. Friday night at 8. She might be me mate. And that would be great great great great great great!" Nutty Professor

Guees whos going to be in Memphis by 8 o'clock? Stephanie!!! I'm excited, cant you tell...Well I probably want be blogging this weekend...So have a great labor day weekend...Don't eat too much (stay off the swine) and watch hella football...

Sep. 4 Sat. Miami (OH) @ Michigan Noon ABC/GP
Sep. 4 Sat. Bowling Green @ Oklahoma Noon ABC/GP
Sep. 4 Sat. UCF @ Wisconsin Noon ESPN
Sep. 4 Sat. Virginia @ Temple Noon ESPN2
Sep. 4 Sat. California @ Air Force Noon GP
Sep. 4 Sat. Kent State @ Iowa Noon GP
Sep. 4 Sat. Cincinnati @ Ohio State Noon GP
Sep. 4 Sat. South Carolina @ Vanderbilt 12:30 p.m. GP
Sep. 4 Sat. Wake Forest @ Clemson 3:30 p.m. ABC/GP
Sep. 4 Sat. Michigan State @ Rutgers 3:30 p.m. ABC/GP
Sep. 4 Sat. Oklahoma State @ UCLA 3:30 p.m. ABC/GP
Sep. 4 Sat. Akron @ Penn State 3:30 p.m. ABC/GP
Sep. 4 Sat. Troy State @ Marshall 4:30 p.m. GP
Sep. 4 Sat. Oregon State @ LSU 6:00 p.m. ESPN
Sep. 4 Sat. Tulane @ Mississippi State 6:00 p.m. ESPN2
Sep. 4 Sat. Middle Tennessee St @ Florida 6:00 p.m. GP
Sep. 4 Sat. Utah State @ Alabama 7:00 p.m. GP
Sep. 4 Sat. Colorado State @ Colorado 8:00 p.m. FSN
Sep. 4 Sat. Toledo @ Minnesota 9:00 p.m. ESPN2
Sep. 4 Sat. Notre Dame @ BYU 9:15 p.m. ESPN
Sep. 5 Sun. Syracuse @ Purdue 1:30 p.m. ABC
Sep. 5 Sun. Kentucky @ Louisville 3:30 p.m. ESPN
Sep. 5 Sun. Fresno State @ Washington 5:30 p.m. FSN
Sep. 5 Sun. UNLV @ Tennessee 8:00 p.m. ESPN2
Sep. 6 Mon. Nevada @ Louisiana Tech 1:00 p.m. ESPN2
Sep. 6 Mon. Pittsburgh @ USF 4:30 p.m. ESPN
Sep. 6 Mon. Florida State @ Miami, Fla. 8:00 p.m. ABC

Damn we got a lot of football to watch in so little time...




I'll keep you posted

"Pimp, Pimp, Hooray!"

Usually I'm all about edifying...But its some sh!t you just don't do...And this is clearly one of those things...


Okay...Now what is the 1st thing that pop in your mind when you see these pictures? I think of "Space Age Hooker"...She look like she could have ran the "track" on Star Track or something...All I have to say is Compton's Finest!

And while we are talking about hooker look alikes...

Don't it look like his name should be Crazy Eyes Tonnie Fresh or something...And her's should be Woeisme RollDdice (it just sound like a high priced hooker's name)...What you think?

Is it me or is she a lil ashy at the knee?

I'll keep you posted