Hey...How you been? Its been a while...I'm digging the new simple, but sophisticated layout. I'm doing pretty good if you cared to know. I've just had a lot of my mind lately. Well...To be honest you.
I never thought I would be in this situation. Coming back to the world of expressing myself on "Through My Eyes". I've been contemplating deleting you for months...To be honest, about a year. But I couldn't. I couldn't pull the trigger...Every time I tried, another post jumped out at me. I would sit and read about my extremely random thoughts for weeks at a time...Every line making me miss you even more. But between writing for scholarly gain and career purposes, I came up with every excuse in the book not to take on this process again.
It was always something. You know...The usual. "If it was meant, it would come more holistic...I just don't have time...I don't have anything new to talk about...Just the same #%@&, on a different toilet." But its human nature to excuse our sloth under the pretext of difficulty...When you love something, you have to be willing to work at it. Success and happiness doesn't come without a price...
After a few weeks of digging at the pro's and con's...I came to the conclusion that a lot of my sloth/stall came out of fear...Fear that I didn't have that "touch" anymore. Fear that I've lost my fam after pulling a "D'Angelo"...Not once, but twice. Fear that it wouldn't be the same anymore....Between you and me. That fear made it easy for me to talk myself down, time after time.
But after having a heart to heart with my Mac, one thing stuck out...Being able to articulate my thoughts...Being able to entertain...Being able to take off the 9 to 5-*plus-plus* shell, and just be "G. Cornelius" was something I needed. So, in so many words...I need you. Life just isn't fun without you. I'm sorry for neglecting you.
I hope you could find it in your heart to forgive me...I know I've said some hurtful things in the past. I never meant any of them. Just acting out of anger. I hope that we could heal and move on to bigger and better things.
P.S. I'll keep you posted...